A trip to the optometrist.....gone BAD!

So, yesterday it came to my attention around 4 PM that I was out of contacts and the ones I was wearing hurt too bad to even wear to church. So, I called my optometrist office and asked to just purchase one pair since I had already ordered some and they had not come in yet. She said sure, but you will have to come in to get them (they have a drive-thru) and it will just take 2 minutes. I quickly informed her that two minutes was a long time with 4 kids under 7. She laughed and said "it sure is!" Obviously, she doesn't have children because no one would laugh at that if they did! : ) So, I think to myself, I can handle this, 4 kids under 7 and it's "only" gonna take 2 minutes. I got all loaded up and headed that way. On the way, we are singing Veggie Tales Sunday School songs and smiling and laughing. About a mile from the office, I threw down the rules for the following event. 1. Sit down 2. Don't get up 3. Don't touch anything! I quickly reminded the older two, Jackson and Jagger, that they were in fact leaders to Maverick nd Memphis and whatever they did they were going to follow. They both said, "sure Mom, we'll help!" So, we get there and I "stupidly" decide not to bring the stroller because after all, she had assured me it was only going to take 2 minutes. I walk in holding Memphis and quickly reminded the other three of the first rule, SIT DOWN! By the way, The waiting room is FULL of lots of onlookers! The boys sat down and it looked perfect for about 30 seconds. I was checking in with the same 2 minute lady I had spoken with on the phone and she says, "oh, I'm sorry! You are gonna have to meet with a contact lens specialist and it will just take a few minutes." I should have known!!! I said ok and turned around to check on the kids, trying to hide my "Oh crap!" face so the boys don't realize I am in waaaay over my head. I find Jackson juggling crumpled pamphlets about laser eye surgery which I probably could have read and avoided this situation altogether. Jagger says to me, "Mom, how long is this gonna take? I'm boooored." Oh and Maverick, he has taken off through the office running around. I find him hiding under that contact lens specialist's (the one I am waiting to see) desk who is a helping a client put her contacts in. I said, "Excuse me?" (as if I had dropped something) and pulled Maverick out while he laughed hysterically and meanwhile still had Memphis on my hip, and oh yah not to mention the baby in my stomach! I drag Maverick back to the chairs and find that Jackson's cricus juggling act has gained a participant, Jagger. I tried everything to get Maverick to sit still, drawing, candy and straight bribery. Well, fifteen minutes of "tag" with Maverick and Memphis (because of course he followed Maverick) passed and I still had not seen the specialist. Then, the unthinkable, I did not "catch" Maverick during one of those forced moments of playing tag. He threw his arms out like a windmill and beginning running and spinning similar to that of the tasmanian devil. He hit the most expensive racks of glasses. Vogue, Gucci, Prada and more hit the floor! I laughed in exasperation because I knew if I didn't, I would cry! I went to the "2 minute" lady and said, "these kids are going to have this place torn down in seconds!" "I will pay any amount necessary to get one pair of contacts and walk out of here right now!" I must have looked desperate because she came up out of her chair with my contacts in hand and said, "have a nice day!" I told Jackson and Jagger the circus had ended because of course they were still juggling. I spoke through my teeth all the way to the car which is never a good sign with me. Of course, Maverick finished it all up with darting into the parking lot as we exited the office. I got to the car and had an UNrealistic talk and "more" with 2 year old Maverick about his behavior. I got into the car, started it and flipped the AC to high because I was sweating after playing that fun game of "tag." I laid my head on the steering wheel and Jackson says, "Mom, are you gonna cry?" I slowly came up from my desperate attempt to ignore all life and said, "PLEASE, don't say a word, not one word, until we get home!" They didn't, not even Maverick!

All the way home, I thought about how older people often tell me how much I am going to miss these days as they look adoringly on at my children. You know what?! I really don't think so! When my kids are grown, I am going to go to the eye doctor and many other places without engaging in a game of tag that I never wanted to play in the first place. I am not going to have to catch things mid-air to keep them from breaking. I won't have to share my food or drinks and I might even get to eat a meal from start to finish without somebody needing to go to the bathroom, pooping their pants or screaming so loud that people move away from you! Yes, however, I may miss the sweet moments, like naptime and bedtime!!!